Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Farmville is her only friend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize