I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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