I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize