now i know why i became what i already was.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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