I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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