What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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