you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize