Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
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Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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