Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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