In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She told me I should be a condom model.
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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