i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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