so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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