I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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