We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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