Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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