I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize