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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
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