I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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