I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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