I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
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I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
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Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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