If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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