I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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