lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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