I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize