I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
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Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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