yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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