Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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