I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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