I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize