i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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