I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
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I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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