Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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