i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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