I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize