very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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