please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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