Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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