Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
This house was built for laser tag.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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