: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's blow job season.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Couch. On fire.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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