wrigley field is MILF paradise
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize