whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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