Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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