I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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