Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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