Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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