I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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