My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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