we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize