Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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