You made me cry and you don't even care
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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